Weed eater Logic

Two middle aged guys, Joe and Jim are sitting at their favorite bar having a beer.

Joe turns to Jim and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through  life without nothing to look forward to - and its all because I don't have a decent education. I think tomorrow I am going over to that community college and sign up for some colleges classes."

Jim says "Well I thinks that's a good idea Joe". They finish their beers and leave.

The next day, Joe goes out to the community college on his lunch hour and talks to an Admissions Counselor.  After interviewing Joe the Counselor recommends Joe sign up for two upcoming classes he thinks might be fun for Joe. The Counselor recommends Joe take History and Logic.

"Logic?" Joe asks "What's the heck kind of course is that?"

The Admissions Counselor says, "Its a really fun course that teaches you how to think.  Let me give you an example.

Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yes I do" Joe replies.

"Well then logically speaking I can only presume since you own a weed eater you have a yard."

"That's true" Joe says  "I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," says the counselor. "Now because you have a yard, its only logical you have a house."  "Well yes, I do have a house" says Joe.

"See how this Logic works?"  the counselor says.

Now because you have a house its only logical you would have a family."

"Yes, I do have a family" says Joe.

"Since you have a family, then logically you must have a wife"  "Yes I do have a wife" says Joe.

"Now because you have a wife, then logic dictates that you must be a heterosexual male."

"That's true, I am a heterosexual" says Joe. 

"WOW! That's amazing you were able to find out all of that stuff about me all from just knowing I own a weed eater."

Joe is now really excited about taking this Logic class and shakes the Counselor's hand.  Joe can't wait for his classes to begin.

Later that evening Joe meets his good buddy Jim and their favorite bar and Jim asks "Well Joe, did you go out to the community college today and sign up for any classes?  "I sure did" Says Joe. 

"Well what did you sign up for" Jim asks.

"Two classes, History and Logic" Joe responds.

"Logic?" asks Jim, "What the heck is Logic about?"

"Well, let me give you a good an example" Joe says.

"Do you own a weed eater Jim?"

"Nope." said Jim.

"Well logic tells me you must be gay".

Let's Talk About the Blarney Stone

Most people who celebrate St Patrick's Day either know of, or have heard of, the Blarney Stone but few actually know anything about the stone itself or why so many people want to kiss the Blarney Stone. So let's answer all these questions now.

The Blarney Stone is a large block of blue limestone that currently sits in an outer wall of Blarney Castle not far from the city of Cork in Ireland. The Legend of the Blarney Stone started in the 12th Century; however it was never written down until 1584. My guess though, is the legend is about 95% accurate. So take a moment, sit back and read this informative article. Its fun trivia and you will learn something new. 

Scholars tell us the Blarney Stone originally came from the middle east - near the Holy Lands. It was brought to Europe by the knights returning from the crusaders. Now there are two theories regarding why the Blarney Stones was brought to Europe. Some say it is the “Stone of Ezel”; the stone described in the Hebrew Bible as the stone young David hid behind to escape from King Saul. Others say it was the stone Moses struck with his staff in the middle of the dessert to cause water to gush forth so the Israelites could quench their thirst during their exodus from Egypt.

Whichever theory is correct - we know the stone made its way to Scotland where the Scots called it their 'Stone of Destiny'. Then, in an offer of good will the Stone of Destiny was split in half. Half was sent to King Munster in Ireland. King Munster, ruled Ireland from Blarney Castle. King Munster hated the English so he sent five thousand men to Scotland to help the Scots defeat the English at the battle of Bannockburn in 1314. 

Now this is really cool. Have you watched the Mel Gibson movie – Braveheart? Well the 5,000 men King Munster sent to Scotland were sent to reenforce the army of Sir Robert the Bruce - the man who betrayed Braveheart in the movie. Anyway with the help of Munster's men Robert the Bruce was able to defeat the English.

To show his gratitude Robert cut the 'Stone of Destiny' in half and sent half to King Munster. Robert then had the stone placed in the walls of Castle Blarney – and it is there in Ireland we can go kiss the Blarney Stone.

Now, legend has it – those who kiss the Blarney Stone are blessed / endowed / or given the gift of Eloquence. Unfortunately kissing the Blarney Stone is no easy task. First a person must climb up 125 irregularly shaped steps to reach the parapet of the castle wall – which is over 100 feet above the ground. Then, once on the parapet the person must lie on his or her back, then twist their spine and extend their neck so their lips can press against the stone. 

So what exactly is Blarney and why do people want it? The young Irish say Blarney is a form of flattery, however; old timer Irish say it is the art of speaking. Blarney they say is much more then flattery; it is flattery sweetened with humor and flavored with spicy wit. 

For almost three hundred years, millions of people have traveled to Castle Blarney in Ireland just to kiss the Blarney Stone. People - rich and poor, young and old, male and female, famous and not-so-famous all - people who want the gift of blarney so they can live their lives to the fullest. 

Unfortunately, thousands of would be kissers fell to their deaths while trying to kiss the Stone because of it location; so in 1928 iron railings were installed to prevent further tragedies. Trained assistants now sit atop the castle's parapet to help hopeful kissers contort their bodies and get in the proper position to kiss the Blarney Stone.

Every summer over a thousand people a day visit Castle Blarney. They stand in line, make the arduous trek up the narrow stairway, lay down on the stone walkway, contort their bodies, stretch their necks and then pucker up – just to kiss the mysterious blue slab of limestone known as the Blarney Stone. 

Amazingly those who have kissed the Blarney Stone say the trip to Ireland was well worth it; all would gladly go through this ordeal again. Each one swears their lives were incredibly transformed after they received the gift of Blarney.